Disclaimer…. Opinions on this article are mine and are not intended to upset or belittle anyone. All moms are awesome and doing the best they can for their family.
On Tuesday October 4, 2011 I became a SAHM (Stay At Home Mom). Surprisingly, I had been working in some form since I was 14, so the idea that I could stay home and raise a child and not miss all the firsts, was very much a dream come true. I was so ready to say the least. Two days later, my husband and I welcomed our baby boy into the world. We were so happy. It felt like I had done something so Big, like I was a superhero. My body had formed a living being with bones, organs, blood and veins. I could do anything, I Am Woman … Hear me ROAR!!!
Little did I know that what I had just done was the easy part. The sleepless nights, hormones, crying and diapers were endless. Some days felt like the movie Groundhogs Day. Remember that movie with Bill Murray, where, he is stuck in the same day over and over again. Well, I felt like that, except the days kept flying by.
Days, weeks and months rolled by each with a new adventure or crisis depending how you look at it. Now before you get on your soap box and start your preaching. I knew what I was signing up for. I had raised a few kids that were not mine, before I had my son. When I asked God for a child, I asked for all of it. The Good, Bad, and even the Ugly. Being a parent is hard work and I knew that.
As my son got older, life got easier. I often wondered what it would be like to “go to work” as they say. Then I started having panic attacks, thinking about the logistics. How would I afford daycare? Who would I trust to watch him? That would remind me how blessed I was. I didn’t have to do it all and that was ok. Oh I tried, at home with the housework and other chores and mostly succeeded.
While I was at home I:
- started a blog 😉
- did all laundry, dishes, shopping, cooking, doctors appointments, yard work and became an extreme couponer
- joined a library fundraising committee
- playdates with friends
- found my “village” of supportive mommy friends (They supported me and made me a better mom)
ALl this while taking care of a child. Ok so, I am a nut but I need to stay busy. Just typing this is making me tired lol. But do you see a pattern here? I made being a SAHM a JOB. I figured if I wasn’t going to “work” I had to contribute somehow. Recently that JOB became no fun and a strain on me. Something was missing. My son and I both had hit a wall and needed to get out of our bubble. He began to get nasty and needed to be around other children besides the library storytime and occasional playdate. I am a firm believer of things happening for a reason. When my husband got hurt at work, I took it as a sign to get my butt in gear and go back to work. We needed the money and I needed the adult time. Luckily, a job opened up with my previous employer, which had a spot for my son in a preschool class. Life is looking up.
So today as I write this, my baby is 3 years old and doing well in preschool. He had a few meltdowns but is adjusting well. We all cried a little the first day but mostly tears of joy and excitement. Where does the time go? I pray that he listens to his teachers and does his best. Every day I wait for him to get out of school, I get excited to hear how his day went.
As for me…. I am doing ok. Some days are better than others. Mommy guilt has creeped up on me. It’s hard to let your child go. I keep reminding myself that I am doing what is best for my family and that is all that matters. I will say that I am truly blessed. I was there when that beautiful human entered my life. I was there when he took his first steps. I was there when he first said “Momma”. I was there when he fell at the playground. I was there when he entered that preschool class ready to learn. And I will be there when he graduates from college. God is good!
Have a great day!