Because you’re mine…… I walk the line

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Everyday as a parent or stepparent, we walk that very thin line between sanity and losing it. Some of us do better then others but we all do our best at any given moment. Well our buddy Tim had one of those days. Please give him some love and comment after you read. Enjoy!

 

……… I feel compelled to write this post simply because I came very near to crossing the line today. Since I feel so bad for my actions, I feel the need to explain the day as it proceeded.

8am:

Waking up to laughter and screaming. I crawl out of bed with the dog trying to crawl under the bed, while the Tornado and Hurricane are wearing the only suit they own, and shaking what God gave them, at each other. While I try to comprehend how the bin of crayons exploded, and the bookcase was lying down… Yes, the bookcase was laying down, as in no longer standing up, holding books.

I spent the next several minutes remembering how to close a mouth agape, and rubbing the top of my head. Returning, the Tornado asks, “Are we going to church today?”

Mind you at this moment he’s wearing a batting helmet, hockey gloves, and my belt holding a pillow onto his posterior with a bed spread wrapped around him like a toga. Not to mention wielding a TMNT plastic katana. Yes, the thought in the back of your head is the same I had in mine as I wasn’t even awake for ten minutes yet.

“For the love of everything holy, why are you wearing all that?” I ask.

“So if I get my bottom beat, it won’t hurt, came his quick reply, then off he went like his heels were on fire.

I’ll save you the hysterical laughter, and many “WTF’s” later, we come home from church with me having them promise to clean up the mess they made this morning, then we will go skating.

Noon:

When we walked into the house, my lady (the mother) only got home a few minutes ahead, and I explained to her how the boys promised to clean the living room, and both bedrooms before we would go skating…

Then the boys decided to not do a damn thing but play with toys, whine, then sit and pout. It was when the Tornado, age 6, felt the need to get in his mothers face, and scream at her that he doesn’t want to clean, and no one can make him. Words between mother and child were said, and then I saw his hand ball up into a fist. I snapped.

I picked the kid so we could be face to face, and said a few things I feel remorse over. I never saw his eyes go as wide as they did at that moment.

After that, he left the room, and I grabbed a trash bag and began loading it up, and then set it by the door with both boys crying. Well, the room was clean when I was done. My lady followed suit as well with a trash bag which got both boys following us crying as we picked everything up to throw out.

A good thirty minutes later with two full trash bags, the boys began to understand they still had the option to clean up after themselves as they promised.

After the dust settled and the boys were busy cleaning up their respective messes, I pulled the Tornado aside, explaining how the very first thing I was taught was to always honor and respect my mother and father. And seeing this young boy acting as such sent me into a world of upset and nasty thoughts. I then asked him to apologize to his mother for his actions then did so in turn apologize for mine, to my lady, and her progeny.

Well, we didn’t go skating after the outburst, but come 5pm I did take him outside to catch a few pop-ups, and attempting a movie night, was well… attempted. Yeah the little Hurricane thought it swell to sneak into the kitchen and was caught eating Nestle’s Strawberry milk powder (without a spoon mind you, he was free pouring that crap all over his face and floor). Que the next outburst, followed quickly by tears and screams, “I hate you!”

The movie resumes, and he once again sneaks off to bury his face into the Halloween candy in my lady’s bedroom. Yes the floor is now littered with wrappers. Bed Time!

My lady sits on the couch behind me shaking her head and says, “I used to look forward to laying down and snuggling with them as they fall asleep but I’m just not sure anymore.”

“I wish I could give you some great piece of advice babydoll, but I’m not their father. It’s not my call.”

With that she walks upstairs and oh yes more screams, tears, and whining.

And now with the end of the day finally at hand, I type this out with no clue as what to do next. I love her with all my heart, and her boys are great. I love them to death, but What The Eefff!

 

Tim Schwartz               To follow Tim’s Blogs click here!

– is always pursuing the next challenge in life. Anything from writing the next short story to trying to keep up with a 6 year old’s attention span. He has also been the Organizer and Moderator of the Pittsburgh Writers Meetup Group for the past four years.

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4 Thoughts on “Because you’re mine…… I walk the line

  1. Carol A. Gerner on November 3, 2014 at 5:19 PM said:

    Hang in there guys! Little boys are hard work and will push every button they can. Know this…. You and Jessie are great people and will find the right way to handle the kids. If one way doesn’t work try something different. I will say a prayer for you guys and keep some bail money handy ☺️

    • Tim Schwartz on November 3, 2014 at 7:22 PM said:

      Thanks Carol, There are days I really need it. However today is the polar opposite. We both looked at each other during dinner afraid to say anything. It wasn’t until well after dinner that she had to raise her voice for the first time today. Tiny victories.

  2. michelle on November 3, 2014 at 4:54 PM said:

    Being the “outsider” isn’t easy. All I can tell you is what me boyfriend and I decided….. First I’ll stay with he’s almost always been in my son’s life a mommy’s friend until we decided to make it official. In the beginning I strictly disciplined because he didn’t feel it was his place. Then as we realized it was serious we sat down and discussed his role. Biologically he might not be the father but he was the male model of the house. That being said he would have a say in what goes on. If he tells the boy to do something he needs to follow through on the consequences. If I am disciplining he needs to back me up. If I know he said something specifically I do not go against what he said. He decides when the punishment he gave is over not me. Since you love then all they need to realize you are not always going to be the fun one but they also need to respect you. You need to know where you stand from the mother and the father and if he’s not around then it is up to you too set the example. I can tell you that we have gone through the same thoughts and feelings and once you figure out the boundaries of your role, well it won’t always be easy but it will help with your decisions. good luck tim!

  3. So here’s the thing. You are not their natural father you are not their step father you are mommie’s boyfriend.
    You do however care for them and play with them. You are there to help and advise them. Since Daddy isn’t around you will also have to learn to correct them as well. Causing fear isn’t fun and isn’t easy but kids do need to see the action/reaction dynamic and learn it well.
    How does mom see your role? How much latitude does she give you to act? What is dads reaction and does he support your role in their lives?
    Complicated situation but you need to find your place in it and accept it.

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