He Who Must Not Be Named

Our 1st Guest Post….. welcome Tim to our team!

In the morning of the recent passing of Happy Pappy Day, it was brought to my attention, I have become He who must not be named. From what I have gathered as I’ve mulled over the details in my mind, I have yet to comprehend the magnitude of these events. So in an effort to self soothe, I wish to share.

For the past few months, I’ve been dating a divorced mother with two young boys; ages 6 and 4. The time I’ve spent with her and her progeny have been great, as I’ve had nothing but fun, and enjoy being in their company.

I talked the 6 year old into shedding the training wheels off his bike (Last Tuesday was when the wheels came off and today he was going off jumps, and learning how to pedal standing up), and have had tons of time playing catch in the back yard.

The 6 year old is also now doing chores around the house to help out mom, which is superb. The deal we’ve worked out is he gets one dollar a day for picking up the dog poo in the back yard, and 3 dollars a week for taking any full trash bags out to the can, for a grand total of ten dollars a week. With these new funds he’s (6 years old) bought a pair of batting gloves, and a new baseball bat. I pitched in and got him a new batting helmet, and a bucket of baseballs.

Needless to say, the 6 year old was ecstatic and has vastly improved his baseball abilities after the past week. Coach was very pleased his “dad” has been working with him. I stayed quiet but screamed inside when the sperm donor took the credit, as I stood next to my lady in the bleachers like I’ve been dragged through the mud by a mule, but the kids… both kids are happy.

Speaking of which, my lady needs every little bit of help she can get as I’m still working on the 4 year olds fascination with “snack time.” If he gets hungry… well let’s just say he digs for gold.

Yet, I’ve digressed enough. It’s been brought to my attention the boys speak of me a little too much when they spend the days with their father. So much so they are no longer allowed to mention my name. Dad’s new rule.

Voldemort eat your heart out. I hope everyone had a fantastic Happy Pappy Day.

– Tim

Tim Schwartz is always pursuing the next challenge in life. Anything from writing the next short story to trying to keep up with a 6 year old’s attention span. He has also been the Organizer and Moderator of the Pittsburgh Writers Meetup Group for the past four years.

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